Apology Post + The Actual Reasons why I Quit
Feb 24, 2015 3:45:04 GMT -8
Ace, Will, and 5 more like this
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 3:45:04 GMT -8
It's 3 AM, I can't sleep for some reason, and I was lying in bed pondering about life and things, as I do every night. And I think I've been unfair to the community, so I wanted to apologize and provide the actual reasons why I think I quit.
First off, as some of you may know, I guess I'm pretty unstable. And as I've admitted in the past to some of you in private, I have a tendency to go on warpaths sometimes and when I'm on that course, there's no use reasoning with me. Some things set me off and I dunno why. I wish it weren't so and I constantly try to curb myself, but despite that I get out of control sometimes. I was even worse back in high school (imagine that... >.>). I think two days ago, I was in that state of mind. So I'm sorry about that, and looking back on it, I definitely made mountains out of a lot of molehills. I've accused others of being petty, yet I was being equally petty, if not more so.
As for what I believe are the underlying reasons why I still don't feel compelled to play the game, here's what I think. Looking back on the whole thing, I think I can point to a few actual, legitimate reasons why I quit.
So there you have it. I'd like to take back what I said in my previous thread, but if there's anything Walking Dead taught me, it's that you can't escape the past. So it is what it is. I can't take it back, but I can apologize for it and attempt to correct any wrong I've done. Hopefully this new thread will provide some better insight as to my current situation.
First off, as some of you may know, I guess I'm pretty unstable. And as I've admitted in the past to some of you in private, I have a tendency to go on warpaths sometimes and when I'm on that course, there's no use reasoning with me. Some things set me off and I dunno why. I wish it weren't so and I constantly try to curb myself, but despite that I get out of control sometimes. I was even worse back in high school (imagine that... >.>). I think two days ago, I was in that state of mind. So I'm sorry about that, and looking back on it, I definitely made mountains out of a lot of molehills. I've accused others of being petty, yet I was being equally petty, if not more so.
As for what I believe are the underlying reasons why I still don't feel compelled to play the game, here's what I think. Looking back on the whole thing, I think I can point to a few actual, legitimate reasons why I quit.
- I still don't think I mesh well with the community. It's a personality thing, and it's nobody's fault. But consider that I simply don't fit in, as I stated earlier--I don't like the same music as most of the people here, I didn't spend my time online the same way as most people here, I simply don't think the way most people here do. Again, it's nobody's fault, but that's one of the main reasons, really. Everywhere I go, I feel like an outsider and here is no difference, despite the common interest in the same game.
- To add to point #1, I'll continue the point about how I'm too unstable and erratic. I'm sure there are plenty of times when I've done/said something online and people wonder "what the fuck is Vyse thinking?" Frankly, I just don't feel like I should trouble anyone else with my flaws and my irregularities. The server's better off without my ilk.
- MapleStory had come to a point where it was occupying too much of my time and mental capacities. To put it bluntly, I was addicted. It was like my opiate, or, as Ozzy Osbourne would put it, my "Suicide Solution" (his was alcohol). I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes, I believe I was addicted (as if playing 8+ hours per day wasn't a dead giveaway already), and the fact that I'm now experiencing withdrawals not even two days after quitting is just pathetic on my part. I could be putting my time to better use like reading, practicing guitar, among other things. Additionally, as I stated in other threads, MS is like an unhealthy escape from life for me. Sooner or later, I'm going to have to "encounter the nothingness" as Jean-Paul Sartre would say. In other words, I'll have to face reality eventually instead of hiding behind vain, addictive online games.
- Paladin was not the right choice for me. Of course, I had no way of knowing it, since I had never gotten past 103 back on Pre-BB GMS, but now I know. For starters, the class abilities don't really fit in with the character of Vyse from Skies of Arcadia (the character after whom I modeled my MS character). I actually think Hero would fit him better. Or maybe Shadower. But the main reason is that Paladins are just underwhelming. I remember BPQing with Brian's Hero (YOSHI!!!) who was at least 15 levels below me at the time, and he was still doing more damage than I was--and his sword was scrolled with 7 100%s, while mine was perfected with 7 10%s. Add to this that a Hero's brandish can be effectively tripled, given that it can hit three monsters at once, and the end result is that Paladins are about 1/3 as effective as Heroes, and that's generous. But I understand that for Ace, it must be like being caught between a rock and a hard place: sure, Paladins might suck compared to other classes at the moment, but on the other hand, this is how it was back on GMS, and therefore this is nostalgic. So where do you demarcate the line between better gameplay and nostalgic features? It's a tough call to make and it's bound to anger someone no matter what you do.
- Oh, and NPCing my entire inventory worth of stuff while in a blind rage (Zakum Helmet, perfect Sparta, 12 attack shield, 15 attack SCGs, 10 dex earrings, 9 dex 4 slot shoes, sirius cloak, 13 dex pants, deputy star, 25 onyx apples, a boatload of scrolls, 70 trophies... you get the idea). That would kind of throw a wrench into any plans on returning, but that's actually for the better. I guess it's analogous to an alcoholic getting rid of his wine collection.
So there you have it. I'd like to take back what I said in my previous thread, but if there's anything Walking Dead taught me, it's that you can't escape the past. So it is what it is. I can't take it back, but I can apologize for it and attempt to correct any wrong I've done. Hopefully this new thread will provide some better insight as to my current situation.
, selling all your stuffs in-game could actually be quite beneficial for you. Delete your Vyse character, or invest in a name change. Then, you can create Vyse again as a Hero and perhaps better enjoy your character and your time here.
